Brother Abdussalam is correct and the hadith of Umm ʿAtiyya you brought up
(1) is the ijtihad of a woman Sahaba not known for her fiqh and
(2) is abrogated by marfuʿ (Prophetic) sahih evidence. Among the latter, the saying of the Prophet ﷺ to, I believe, his daughter Fatima (RAA) that if she had followed a certain Janaza, such-and-such would have happened to her i.e. a negative result. On the strength of this and other evidence, the Four Schools consider it impermissible for a woman to follow the Janaza, but not to visit the grave afterwards, wAllahu aʿlam.
It is correct, as shown by Umm Hussain's mail, that
(1) abstention of following the bier is recommended as the best course for women generally speaking;
(2) following the bier for women is "makruh tanzihi" ("permitted with dislike," "disapproved") according to the majority of the Ulema on the basis of the Companion Umm ʿAtiyya's words, "We [women] were prohibited [by the Prophet ﷺ] from following the Janaza but it was not stressed upon us [by him]" in al-Bukhari and elsewhere; and
(3) following the bier is "haram" (prohibited) for women in all Four Schools if there is fear of fitna.
Now, Umm Hussain specifically asked for a "daleel that indicate that women should not attend a janaza" meaning the prayer *apart* from the funeral procession, but the texts we have simply do not distinguish between the two.
Apart from the fact that "attending the janaza" and actually following the janaza procession to the cemetary are undifferentiated in the texts that deal with women, we find the following daleel:
The Prophet ﷺ went out for a Janaza and saw some women sitting. He asked them: "What are you sitting for?" They replied: "The Janaza." He said: "Are you helping carry the bier?" They said no. "Are you going to help bring it down [into the grave]?" They said no. "Are you helping dig the pit?" They said no. He said: "Then go back home in shame and unrewarded." Narrated from ʿAli by Ibn Majah and al-Bayhaqi with a sound chain according to Ibn al-Jawzi as stated in Fayd al-Qadir.
The apparent meaning of the above hadith - and Allah knows best - is that there is no reward for women in attending the Janaza, period - although, in the Sahih narrations, the general reward of attending the Janaza prayer is defined as "one mountain" (qirat) of good deeds, and the reward for following it to the final phase of burial is "a second mountain"!
In addition, the following narration - although it is a weak report - confirms the evidence given by the above narration illustrating the condemnation for women to follow a janaza:
ʿAbd Allah ibn ʿAmr ibn al-ʿAs said: "We buried someone on day in the company of Rasulullah ﷺ and when we finished, the Prophet ﷺ left and we left after him. When we caught up with him and as we were half-way back, we saw a woman coming ahead. When she drew nearer we recognized Fatima. The Prophet ﷺ said to her: 'What brought you out of your house, Fatima?' She said: 'O Messenger of Allah, I paid a visit of mercy to the family of this person who just died.' The Prophet ﷺ said: 'Perhaps you reached with them to the cemetary?' She said: 'I seek refuge in Allah! Not after hearing you mention what you mentioned!' He said: 'If you had reached with them to the cemetary, you would not have seen Paradise until your father's grandfather saw it!'" Narrated by al-Nasa'i in his Sunan - he indicated weakness in its chain -, Abu Dawud, Ahmad, al-Hakim, and Ibn Hibban in his Sahih (7:450), all their chains containing Rabiʿa ibn Sayf al-Maghafiri who is weak.
And Allah knows best.
GF Haddad ©
"In any case, what Westerners call civilization, the others would call barbarity, because it is precisely lacking in the essential, that is to say, a principle of a higher order."
René Guénon, East And West, 1924
صلّى الله على سيّدنا محمّد و على آله و صحبه و سلّم
The blessings and peace of Allah on the Prophet, his Family, and his Companions, ( sallAllahu `aleihi wa sallam ) .