Bismillahi Al-Rahmani Al-Rahim

Shaking Hands With The Opposite Sex

Q1
Assalamu 'Alaykum,

What's the hukm on shaking hands with women?

Q2

السلام عليكم

وَكَرِهَ الْإِمَامُ أَحْمَدُ مُصَافَحَةَ النِّسَاءِ ، وَشَدَّدَ أَيْضًا حَتَّى لِمَحْرَمٍ ، وَجَوَّزَهُ لِوَالِدٍ ، وَيَتَوَجَّهُ : وَلِمَحْرَمٍ ، وَجَوَّزَ أَخْذَ يَدِ عَجُوزٍ . وَفِي الرِّعَايَةِ : وَشَوْهَاءَ ، وَسَأَلَهُ ابْنُ مَنْصُورٍ : يُقَبِّلُ ذَوَاتَ الْمَحَارِمِ مِنْهُ ؟ قَالَ إذَا قَدِمَ مِنْ سَفَرٍ وَلَمْ يَخَفْ عَلَى نَفْسِهِ مِنْهُ ، وَذَكَرَ حَدِيثَ خَالِدِ بْنِ الْوَلِيدِ { أَنَّهُ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَدِمَ مِنْ غَزْوٍ فَقَبَّلَ فَاطِمَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا } . لَكِنَّهُ لَا يَفْعَلُهُ عَلَى الْفَمِ أَبَدًا ، الْجَبْهَةِ وَالرَّأْسِ ، وَنَقَلَ حَرْبٌ فِيمَنْ تَضَعُ يَدَهَا عَلَى بَطْنِ رَجُلٍ لَا تَحِلُّ لَهُ قَالَ : لَا يَنْبَغِي إلَّا لِضَرُورَةٍ ، وَنَقَلَ الْمَرُّوذِيُّ : تَضَعُ يَدَهَا عَلَى صَدْرِهِ ؟ قَالَ : ضَرُورَةٌ

I was informed by someone that the above was mentioned in Ibn Muflih's "al-Furu`" under "Kitab al-Nikah" under the Chapter of "Mas'alat Sama' Sawt al-Ajnabiyya". Is this true? What does it mean?

وَمِنْهَا : كَرِهَ الْإِمَامُ أَحْمَدُ رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ مُصَافَحَةَ النِّسَاءِ . وَشَدَّدَ أَيْضًا ، حَتَّى لِمَحْرَمٍ . وَجَوَّزَهُ لِوَالِدٍ . قَالَ فِي الْفُرُوعِ : وَيَتَوَجَّهُ وَلِمَحْرَمٍ . وَجَوَّزَ الْإِمَامُ أَحْمَدُ رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ أَخْذَ يَدِ عَجُوزٍ . وَفِي الرِّعَايَةِ : وَشَوْهَاءَ . وَسَأَلَهُ ابْنُ مَنْصُورٍ : يُقَبِّلُ ذَاتَ الْمَحَارِمِ مِنْهُ ؟ قَالَ : إذَا قَدِمَ مِنْ سَفَرٍ ، وَلَمْ يَخَفْ عَلَى نَفْسِهِ ، لَكِنْ لَا يَفْعَلُهُ عَلَى الْفَمِ أَبَدًا . الْجَبْهَةِ وَالرَّأْسِ . وَنَقَلَ حَرْبٌ فِيمَنْ تَضَعُ يَدَهَا عَلَى بَطْنِ رَجُلٍ لَا تَحِلُّ لَهُ قَالَ : لَا يَنْبَغِي إلَّا لِضَرُورَةٍ . وَنَقَلَ الْمَرُّوذِيُّ : أَتَضَعُ يَدَهَا عَلَى صَدْرِهِ ؟ قَالَ : ضَرُورَةً .

I also found the above in an online version of al-Insaf, "Kitab al-Nikah". Can you explain the above? Did Imam Ahmad really say that it was only makruh to shake hands with women?

A
Wa `alaykum al-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

The general ruling of shaking hands is mentioned in Imam al-Buhuti's Kashshaf al-Qina`, in the section on it being recommended for men to visit the graves of Muslims. He writes:

(It is not permissible to shake hands with a woman who is outside of [one's] unmarriagable kin) since it [touching] is more evil than than looking. As for an old woman: it is permissible for men to shake her hand, according to what is mentioned in al-Fusul and al-Ri`ayah.

It was said in Riwayat Ibn Mansur (“Ibn Mansur's Transmissions [Of Imam Ahmad's Opinions]”) that it is offensive to shake hands with women; Muhammad bin `Abd Allah ibn Mahran said, “Abu `Abd Allah [Imam Ahmad] was asked about a man shaking a woman's hand. He answered [saying], “No!”, and was very emphatic about it. So I asked, “So, he shakes her hand using his garment?” and he replied, “No.” Another man asked, “But if he is one of her unmarriagable kin?” And he [Imam Ahmad] replied, “No.” I asked, “[What about] his daughter?” He replied, “If it is his daughter, there is no problem.”

The preferred [opinion] of Sheikh Taqi al-Din [ibn Taymiyyah] is that it is absolutely unlawful. But it is strong to make a distinction between unmarriagable kin and others. As for the father [shaking hands with his daughter], it is permissible; it was mentioned in al-Adab.ⁱ

He also writes near the beginning of the Book Of Marriage And The Characteristics Of The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace):

(Imam Ahmad disliked [kuriha] [men] shaking hands with women—he was emphatic about it—even [shaking hands] with unmarriagable kin. He permitted it for a father) and in al-Furu` [Ibn Muflih] says that it is strong [that it be permitted for] unmarriagable kin.ⁱⁱ

As for the quoted passages, the first one is from Ibn Muflih's al-Furu` (5:158) and the second is from `Ali al-Mardawi's al-Insaf (8:32).

Perhaps the odd part here is that Imam Ahmad (may Allah be pleased with him) uses the Arabic word kuriha [to deem offensive, to dislike], which the people conversing with him and the scholars in the Hanbali madhhab treat as though it means haruma [to deem unlawful]. A message posted on April 2^nd, 2002, titled “Imam Ahmad's Statements (may Allah be pleased with him)”. The message included the following (with the relevant passage marked in red)

It is very often to find statements in books “...there are two opinions.” This is readily understood to mean that the scholars have different opinions on the given issue, and that those opinions include the two extremes. What those extremes are is understood by context: lawful/unlawful, permissible/impossible, etc. You also find statements like “...there are two opinions. The third is...” which is understood to mean that the scholars have difference opinions on the given issue, and that in addition to including the two extremes, there is a third [and fourth, and fifth, and so on] opinion of...”

So, applying this to the passage marked in red, we understand that Hanbali scholars have two opinions on what the phrases mentioned above (“I find it offensive,” “it does not please me,” “I do not like it,” “I do not find it to be good,” and “whoever asked should do such-and-such to be say” [respectively: ukrihahu, la yu`jibuni, la uhibbuhu, la astashinuhu, ya`al al-sa'ilu ihtiyatan]) mean: one opinion that they indicate that the given thing is permissible (though offensive), the second that they are unlawful.

This, in sha Allah, shows the ruling of shaking hands and helps explain the two passages you mentioned.

And Allah knows best.

Wa al-salamu `alaykum,
--Musa