HOME BLOG QURANIC HADITH FIQH tGFH English CONTACT hamburger menubar icon

Marriage And Sexual Intercourse


Edit OmarKN

Tweet #omarkn


- abstinence
- adultery
- best time
- by hand
- caressing
- distraction
- food
- ghusl
- health
- henna
- lust
- marry
- menstruation
- moderation
- no intercourse
- scent
- shaving
- virgin
- when avoided
- wudhu

Marriage And Sexual Intercourse

From The Medicine of the Prophet ﷺ, by Al-Suyuti pp. 18-20[1]

Jabir has transmitted a hadith of the Prophet ﷺ, which says,

"Go and take a virgin as your wife whom you will caress and who will caress you."

Jabir said, the Prophet ﷺ , forbade the act of love before caressing."

Marriage is one of the practices of the messengers of Allah ﷺ may Allah bless them and grant them peace.

It is best to have sexual intercourse only after digestion is completed and when the body is in balance and in a normal condition, midway between hot and cold, and between being full and being empty - but if a man has to make a mistake, then intercourse on a full stomach is less harmful than repressing it. It is said that Ibn 'Umar never had intercourse except after a meal.

Intercourse should be avoided when one is tired, or sad, or disappointed, and also after taking medicine. It should only be indulged in when there is a strong desire, and only when this desire is aroused neither by effort nor by erotic ideas or sights. It should be the result of there being an excess of semen.

If intercourse does not exceed the bounds of moderation, then it revives inward energy, makes a man [and a woman] joyful, awakes his appetite for food, and dissipates sad thoughts, melancholy preoccupations and depression. Sexual abstinence has resulted in disease more than once. Intercourse safeguards health, but excessive intercourse results in tremors [shaking movement of body] and palsies [immobilisation], and weakens the faculties, and dims the eyesight.

The Prophet ﷺ, said,

"Whoever among you is troubled by his sexual urge, let him marry - for marriage causes the eyes to be lowered and safeguards the private parts."

This is a sound hadith and has been transmitted by al-Bukhari.

Do not have intercourse with an old woman, with a very young girl, or with a woman who is menstruating:

{And if they ask you about menstruation, say: 'It is an illness, so let women alone during menstruation, and do not go near them until they are cleansed; and when they have purified themselves, then go into them as Allah has commanded you. Surely Allah loves those who turn to Him, and He loves those who purify themselves.}
(Quran: 2.222)

For that blood is decaying blood, and can harm the sexual organ of a man, causing ulceration [and cause great harm in a child born]. Indeed, I have seen this myself.

The Prophet ﷺ, said,

"Do anything rather than commit adultery. And whoever has intercourse with a menstruating woman should make compensation of one dinar or half a dinar."

- Although some say that he only needs to ask for Allah's forgiveness for his error.

The reasoning underlying this hadith is that a Jew, when his wife is menstruating, abstains from all intercourse with her, sets her apart in the house, and makes her eat and drink alone. When the Prophet learned of this ﷺ, he said,

"Except as regards intercourse, do everything differently to the Jews, for the curse of Allah and His anger is on them."

Never have intercourse with a woman who has had no sexual relations for a long time, nor with a woman who is sick, nor with one whose appearance is not pleasing to you. To lie with one who is beloved makes the heart rejoice.

A man once went and complained to the Prophet ﷺ, that he had very few children. The Prophet told him to eat eggs. According to Abu Huraira, the Prophet once complained to the angel Jibril that he could not have sexual intercourse often enough. "What?" replied the angel, "Why do you not eat harisa? There is the strength of forty men in this dish!" [harisa is a tasty meatdish]

From Abu Rafiʿ comes this hadith: I was seated once in the house of the Prophet ﷺ. He passed his hand over his head and said, "Make use of henna, the best of all dyes, for henna strengthens the skin and increases sexual energy." Anas, too, said, "Dye yourself with henna, for surely henna is rejuvenating, and makes a man handsome, and compels him to sexual intercourse."

Among the ahadith is the one that shaving the pubic hair stimulates intercourse. Abu Nu'aim has transmitted this hadith.

Among the foods that are excellent for this purpose are peas, onions, meat, eggs, cocks and sparrows. After these a man should drink fresh milk and then rest and say his prayers. Similarly, he should eat pine kernels, haricot beans, turnips, carrots, grapes, asparagus, and pistachio nuts, hazel nuts and their like. He should avoid acidic and salty foods. I will return to this subject in the section on Simple Remedies, insh'Allah.

Muslim has transmitted the hadith from Abu Saʿid that the Prophet ﷺ, said,

"If one of you has gone into his wife, and desires to approach her again, then he should first do wudhu, and then have intercourse again."

The Prophet ﷺ also said,

"If one of you has gone into his wife and has said, 'In the Name of Allah, keep shaytan away from us, and keep shaytan away from what You grant us,' then the child that is destined to come from them will never be troubled by shaytan."

Al-Bukhari has transmitted the hadith that a man should not go to sleep until he has done wudhu, as was commanded by the Prophet ﷺ, according to the hadith of ʿAyesha and others.

The Prophet was meticulous in his sexual relations, and he ordered his example to be followed. He once said,

"What I love in your world are women, and scent, and the coolness of my eye is in the prayer."

An-Nasa'i has related the hadith that he said, "Scent is the food of the soul, and the soul is the riding beast of the faculties of man." Nothing is more helpful than scent after sexual intercourse.

When he ﷺ spoke of the prayer after the enjoyment of these two pleasures, he indicated that having sexual intercourse dispels the distraction of erotic urges and sexual desires - which destroy clarity of perception and concentration by interfering with the flow of reflection and thought, and by diminishing awareness of the deen. It is for this reason that physicians have described the sex drive as being a madness. And by Allah, it is the most common of manias, for it is the most irrepressible of all the things that can dominate man.

The Prophet ﷺ, said,

"I have never seen anything more capable of weakening a man's senses and his deen and of destroying his judgement than one of you women."

Truly, a man's judgement is wiped out by the intensity of his lust and things like it. Accordingly it is necessary for the slave of Allah to strive for pure intentions - without which no prayer has any merit. The discussions of the 'ulama', along with the many ahadith concerning the self and evil whisperings, are well known: the Prophet ﷺ, clearly expressed the requirement concerning the obligation of doing the prayer - and he emphasised it by referring to the sayings of other messengers of Allah and others - that the slave of Allah must at the time of the prayer have a heart that is free from vain thoughts and evil inclinations.

And after sexual intercourse a ghusl is obligatory.

And Allah knows best.

Physicians have said that causing seminal emission by hand (masturbation) causes distress and weakens the sexual appetite and erections of the penis. As well as this it is forbidden [or at least an offensive act] by the shari'ah.

Oriental Pattern


Related texts

  1. About Al-Suyuti, GF Haddad


* Living Islam – Islamic Tradition *